A Stereotype Story That Shouldn't Be Named
by Lucifer Caem
Summary: A good guidance of how you should NOT write your Beelzebub fanfic. (Sick of reading too much Romance/Hurt/Comfort/Drama/Poor-attempt-on-Humor fanfic? Read this!) [OOCs]


**[A/N :** **This is my another attempt to write parody fanfic in this fanfic. I wrote this fanfic when I was being snarky. This is purely for humor, so no hurt feelings after you read this very very badly written fanfic. I have to confess that I suck at humor but really why until now there's only few parody fanfics in this fandom? Ah well I'm just gonna sit and have a cup of tea *slurps*** **]**

* * *

Beelzebub「べるぜバブ」© Tamura Ryūhei「田村隆平」

Rated : T [13 +]

Genre : Parody, Humor

 **WARNING!** : For readers, especially Beelzebub diehard fans, this is purely satire humor therefor this story contains offensive and suggestive sarcasm/mockery that perhaps some readers will feel offended. OOCness cannot be avoided. Flames accepted but you may consider again whether write one or not because as you can read, I put parody as FIRST GENRE and I think it's really unnecessary to flame me since I'm not even being serious.

 **Summary :**

Just another usual peaceful boring day. A big threatening enemy came out of nowhere. Oga saved the day. 34th Behemoth's Pillar Squad's done nothing but watching Master En's ass being kicked… not literally. What's more? More characters with little screen time popped out of nowhere?

* * *

 **A Stereotype Story That Shouldn't Be Named**

It was a peaceful Sunday in Oga household. No school (Do Ishiyama High School students even have class? Doubtful), no gossip sucker citizen, no whimpy ass lame delinquents; who claim from a school that doesn't have a word Ishiyama in title, came to beat Oga into pulp- if only they could. Just a good sunny Sunday with playstation, playing Demon Quest with your lackey-err… best friend with a not-so-cutie-when-crying green haired toddler.

"OGA THE OGRE! BE PREPARED FOR YOUR OWN FUNERAL!"

Corrected, there was a BadGuy#1 with BadGuy#2 and BadGuy#3 and more, yeah the whimpy ass lame delinquents, who finally had a brain to challenge Oga with coming to his house; compared to other delinquents who couldn't find the neighborhood where Oga family lived even though how UNIQUE and OBVIOUS Oga surname in Ishiyama that I bet no one has the same surname. But still, they were not smart enough to see the relation between Oga Misaki and Oga Tatsumi as sibling because even Red Tail 3rd generation couldn't until finally the self-proclaimed Mr. Bishi but creepy Furuichi Takayuki spoiled the news. No wonder.

Back to the story, our not-so-antihero Oga Tatsumi paused his activity, took a peek from his window just to see the group and shouted, "Not today, idiots."

"Coward." One of the men in the group, probably BadGuy#2093 mumbled. Sadly Oga heard the word clearly.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY? COME UP 'ERE SO I CAN KICK FURUICHI'S ASS!"

"WHY AM I THE ONE WHO'S GONNA BE KICKED ON THE ASS HERE!?" Furuichi yelled.

Without they realized, all BadGuy were already being whipped away in a mere second by a bombshell beauty blonde named Hildegarde. In a mere second she was in Oga's room and accidentally crashed his playstation with her 10 inches high heels. Oga groaned.

"Bitch, do you really need to do that?"

"Um, no. Actually, it's just my sadistic side that wants to see you sewer rat tortured… after Creepichi, of course."

"Why you bitch—"

"OH MY BEAUTIFUL HILDA-SAN! YOU'RE A TRULY BEAUTY, MY SUNSHINE IN THIS MISERY SITUA—" Furuichi got a smack on his head.

"Dah!" What Beel could only said.

"Stop that stupid remark. Can't you two dimwits sense any great demonic power here? Oh right, I'm totally forget that I'm the one who can lead the adventure to another level. Yeah I'm the one who had loads of information but still my place as first heroine ambiguous because there's Kunieda Aoi." She muttered.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Oga frowned.

"Nothing. Oh, young master you look as great as ever! Let Hilda give you a warm hug in this cold morning and good kisses~!" Hilda gave Beel a warm hug and good kisses that drove half of fans in Beelzebub fandom thought she was another good candidate to be a good example of pedo or shotacon in this already ended up series.

"Now I doubt if you have that PMS-ing for the whole time or you're bipolar…" Oga mumbled. After that they heard the explosion near their school… don't know if it's Ishiyama High or St. Ishiyama High… which one you prefer since the timeline in this story was pretty vague. So they ran to their destination only to find a not-very-muscular-man-who-relied-too-much-from-borrowing-demonic-power-that-he-didn't-need-to-go-gym-to-have-an-absolute-power high school student who wore uniform from another school or is it a ACDC T-shirt? Dunno. He stood calmly that you didn't see any spot blood on his pretty clean face. Around him were Ishiyama student that you could memorize, struggling to stand up even there was Toujou had some bad bruises (GASP!), well except Natsume who sat on the corner field, watching in amusement with his usual mystical and handsomely smirk because he was so powerful but too humble to show his power.

"All of you, brace yourself to welcome the next ruler of Ishiyama High and Human World!" said the never-suspected-to –be-the-greatest-enemy-because-he-just-barely-introduced-in-this-story anon SuperDuperCharminglyBadGuy. Beside him was a demon in artistic form, literally, because the author was too lazy to describe him/her/it(?) or had poor volcabulary.

"Wait outta right there so I can give you a good punch!" Oga yelled.

"WAIT OGA WE HAVEN'T DISCUSSED ANY WHATSOEVER STRATEGY. I'M THE DAMN STRATEGIST HERE."

"Shut up Furuichi! You're being so nosy today and what the hell with those capitalizing dialogues!"

"Hmp, Creepichi as always. And the idiot author cannot give any good remark or smart dialogues for me." Hilda said calmly, standing beside Oga.

"UGH DAMMIT STOP IT AND WHERE THE HELL ARE THOSE BEHEMOTH'S PILLAR SQUAD?! I CAN USE THEIR POWER TO BEAT THAT ANON!"

* * *

 **~At the same time in a luxury apartment in 100 radius miles from the fighting scene~**

* * *

"Did you hear that?" Agiel said.

"Hear what?" Xobla replied.

"Oh right. I think I smell there's a good fight that maybe can be a threat to our Master En's throne." Hecados butted in the conversation while busily watched En randomly pushed buttons on the stick to do Sol-Badguy's Instant Kill for beating Ky-Kiske's ass but failed miserably because thought En and Sol-Badguy used the same magic element, fire, En was just too lame to beat Ky-Kiske who had the same magic element as Beel, lightning.

"Dammit I'm too awesome to beat with the likes of you, you anon gamer!" En shouted. Everyone in the room (Yolda, Isabel, Sachura, 34th Behemoth's Pillar Squad) sweatdropped.

"So anyone who wants a good fight?" Basilisk asked.

"Coming there just to watch yourself not good enough as Oga to beat enemy and got your butt frozen in a millisecond or in one single panel? Nah, pass me." Vabam said.

"Oh, okay."

* * *

 **~Back to the fighting scene~**

* * *

"So what should we do now?" Furuichi (finally without any capitalization words) asked to Oga and Hilda.

"Dah."

"Hmp, the sewer rat can do all by himself and oh of course our manly Young Master can flip the table. I'm just gonna stand here and watching from aside because I'm too hot to even involve in this final fight and this is a man-man fight so I'm as a girl must watch here helplessly even though I have a godly left eye that can detect anything like that sharingan." Hilda stated.

"Oi don't ignore me! I'm the enemy here!" the anon SuperDuperCharminglyBadGuy yelled.

"Huh hell yeah let's go Beel we have to give him a single punch and he will be vanished!" Oga walked to the anon SuperDuperCharminglyBadGuy (SDCBG).

"Dah!"

"Zebub—" Oga's word cut off because he felt a liquid fell from his left cheek. He didn't see the anon SDCBG sent a flying fist to his left.

"Fuck! My left cheek is bleeding! He must be really that strong enemy!" Oga touched his cheek. Then the fist rely between those two happened really fast that only those trained eyes that could follow their movements. The situation between them became tie somewhat. Another Ishiyama students finally stood up to watch the fight. The oh-not-so-angsty-familiar blue haired girl namely Kunieda Aoi was on the verge of crying. How pathetic to watch your crush on very bad condition. She was in an emotional state between to confess her feeling or helping him. Furuichi's voice cut her chain of thoughts.

"Oga! Wait a minute!"

The fight between Oga and the anon SDCBG stopped. "What?" asked Oga.

"I know this is really sudden… but I have to say that even though I'm swarmed by hottie chick like Nene-senpai and Agiel also loli like Lamia and Elim—"

"Hey! Who do you call loli!" Lamia shouted and popped out of nowhere.

Furuichi continued, "I'M GAY FOR YOU OGA!"

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Oga yelled.

"Whew! Man… I know that Oga's gay after all." Kanzaki said to nobody.

"FURUICHI'S THE ONE WHO GAY PEOPLE!"

"What! Oga, what about me? I've had a crush on you and I always used for the romcom moments with you in this series yet you choose HIM!" Aoi blurted out and cried.

"Hilda nee-sama, don't you want to confess your undying love for him too?" Lamia nudged Hilda.

"What! No! I mean… what! Of course not! Hmph, why do you think I have an undying love for him? Ugh why all of sudden you become a shipper Lamia!" Hilda stomped out from the scene.

"Huhuhu… Furuichi-dono, why do you betray our everlasting love?" Alaindelon popped out and hugged him.

"Ugh get off you old man! I'm only gay for Oga!" Then poor Furuichi was disappeared with Alaindelon to the Lala Land.

"Err, why no one suspect Oga as an asexual person?" Nene said.

"Eh, dunno. Well people like to spice things up I think." Paa-ko said.

"Em, Okay."

"OI DON'T IGNORE ME I'M THE ENEMY HERE THAT IS YOUR BIGGEST THREAT TO THIS HUMAN WORLD!"

"Dah!"

"Don't worry guys! I'm FionaReinaIsabellaHizuna, the descendant of the strongest ancient demon from demon world will erase the evil from this world!" the Miss Mary Sue came out. Her dashing stunning blonde silver brunette blue black haired blinded the anon SDCBG.

"Damn you Mary Sue!" He rubbed his eyes from her hair. After no hair left on his hair, he sent a fist to her. "Take this!"

Mary Sue spotted something on the ground to discover Himekawa's wallet. She took and opened it. "Wow, 1,000,000 yen!" She hadn't had a chance to dodge the anon SDCBG fist and died.

"Tsk, what a waste of panel! Take this you idiot! My Super Saiyan power!" Oga yelled. And so the anon SDCBG and his demon vanished from this earth. The fight ended up with Oga's win.

"Why are we here again?" Shiroyama asked nobody.

"Well we just need to support him… after all we are supporting characters." Jinno said.

"Oi, let's go home! Who goes for my delicious takoyaki?" Tojou said.

"Goodnight." Shimokawa said.

* * *

 **~Back to the apartment~**

* * *

"Anyone for another round? I think the fight is over." Naga looked over the big window.

"And we still here, forgotten again." Graphel said.

 **終わり**

 **-The end-**

* * *

 **[Does anyone has some fun reading this?I'm not trying to stress you out and don't ask me about** **"N. F. L."** **, I'm working on it and the draft really mess. I'm too tired to re-read the whole storyline. Too much sarcasm about Beelzebub so I apologize.**

 **I hope no one, NO ONE EVER WRITE BEELZEBUB FANFIC LIKE A PRE-TEEN WHO THINK THEMSELVES HAVE TALENT IN WRITING SO WRITE A FANFIC WITH POOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND STORYLINE. Love your own story and love Tamura-sensei characters because those are precious. Reviews are appreciated. Oh not to forget to say that I was heavily inspired by** **Just 2 Dream of You fanfic: "** **Orange Lights" chapter 20. It's hilarious and YYH fans who read my fanfic don't forget to read it!**

 **Also I don't own Sol-Badguy and Ky-Kiske because they belong to Daisuke Ishiwatari-sensei #GuiltyGear4Life]**

 **-11291926-**


End file.
